Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Thanksgivings have filled my heart but not my blogs in recent days so I return to the happy discipline of public posting of gratitude for ...
171. rhythm of rain remains, dripping from spout, metronome ticking
172. quiet room in quiet house for connection with mate
173. hand-drawn placard from 5 year old hands, cheering his team in Super Bowl contest
174. those eyes all asparkle with pride and delight at the letters and logo which he has penned
175. memories re-visited of his father as child, pencil in hand, focus intent, making his own baseball cards
176. simple pleasure of fixing fun foods for relaxed evening of family together
177. daughter-in-law's furrowed brow and strong will to TACKLE, LEARN, CONQUER certain "adult duty"
178. her husband's shake of knowing head and laughing eyes
179. as both her husband and mine offer specific help with the task
180. gym and elliptical and substantial weights to push this body, heavy with so much recent rest & reflection
181. for the sweaty satisfaaction of pushing myself through to complete the duration of cardio
182. and the remembrance of past gym challenges, dreads and conquerings
183. and the confidence it gives me now that "I CAN DO THIS"
184. for BOISTEROUS boys bursting through door ready to PLAY!
185. that grand-daughter can see, though she can't hear
186. and whose heart and brain has healed enough
187. to sit quietly and turn slowly through pages of magazine, looking, truly looking at each page, not blindly flipping through pages in big clumps just to get to end and grab the next book
188. for ping-pong table alive with a three generation game
189. and paddles given names by boisterous boys to commemorate their past performances in games
190. chalkboard that becomes a "tally board" beneath small fingers with fat chalk penning large numbers
191. for son and daughter-in-law who continue to share joy by their willingness to endure looong protests from tot in infant seat during their drives across the bay to our weekly meal together
192. for grandson who emerges from car with deliberate ten-month-old wave of greeting and loud, practiced "Hi!" that shakes the laughter from brim-full cups of delight
193. for tired body and joy filled heart after day of cleaning and cooking for this hungry appreciative crew of children and grands
194. for daughters-in-law - different in so many ways - who are building their connection with deliberate attention, appreciation and respect
195. and are growing in enjoyment of their husbands' verbal courting :-)
I am thankful:
196. for weeks of days steady with trying and continual returning to my lists of "must-do's"
197. for calm acceptance (finally!) of certain odius tasks outside my desires and skill set
198. for freedom to be flexible and peace to push tasks aside to make room in "my day" for others' needs, and concerns
199. for the hard-won calm of heart that can finally focus (some days:-) on what has been accompished and given and not just what remains to be done
200. for long training to learn to accept my inadequacies as gift, as ever-present proof of creature-li-ness and invitation to delight in others' gifts and accomplishments
201. for training to see my performance mistakes and inadequacies as chances to give the gift of "MODELING IMPERFECTION" with humility, laughter and grace to those around me who push themselves so hard.
202. for the end of a decade-long responsibility which I have at various times resented and stressed over, accepted and stressed over, "seen the good side of" and stressed over, loathed and stressed over, and, finally, turned over to others :-)!!!